Tag Archives: carrots

Full Video – 169: Carrots and Sticks Roundtable With Mark Edge and Ian Freeman

Topic: Mark Edge and Ian Freeman, the hosts of Free Talk Live, join Osborne, Cory and me for a discussion about punishments and rewards, and peaceful parenting. The primary question driving our conversation: do incentives work? But is that really the right question? Look Closer: Free Talk Live http://www.freetalklive.com/ Street Giraffe http://www.wiseheartpdx.org/post/128 An Introduction to Nonviolent Communication http://happinesscounseling.com/NVC_Intro.pdf Punished by Rewards? A Conversation with Alfie Kohn http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/pdf/Punished%20by%20Rewards.pdf Parenting from Your Heart, by Inbal Kashtan http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/inbal_kashtan.html 10 Principles of Unconditional Parenting http://rainbowrecognizer.hubpages.com/hub/10-Principles-of-Unconditional-Parenting Secrets of Happy Parents Radio Show MP3: Unconditional Parenting with Alfie Kohn, author of Unconditional Parenting http://www.ahaparenting.com/radio-shows/unconditional-parenting The Argument From Morality...Or, how we will win, by Stefan Molyneux http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig6/molyneux7.html A Brief History of Ethics (Part 1) - Freedomain Radio ...

Read More »

057 Relationships: Conformity and Convenience

(Kids Are Not Defective Part 9) Topic: I meet up with Stephanie Murphy and Mike Barskey, the hosts of Porc Therapy Podcast, to discuss common types of dysfunction in adult relationships. We examine the question: Are there embedded lessons or messages from school and childhood that most people can't seem to escape in their adolescent and adult romantic relationships? The Lessons From School: 1. People can be easily changed 2. It's dangerous/abnormal/inconsiderate to express your emotions 3. Pay attention to words, ignore deeds We cover the all-too-common phenomenon of 'settling,' due to a lack of self-knowledge and low self-esteem. I also discuss my experience with the "Skinner Box" of relationships. If I do this, I will get this. Bumper Music: ...

Read More »

052: Holes

(Kids Are Not Defective Part 6) Topic: There is a phrase, "hole in the soul," that describes how a person may feel incomplete, unworthy, or dependent on external things. While much of this is probably rooted in family, I believe that school can contribute to one's sense of personal emptiness. This is a long and winding show that covers a valedictorian's brave and moving graduation speech, leading into a discussion of the problems created for all students by the carrots and sticks of school. As Alfie Kohn points out in his book (linked below), even the rewards are a kind of punishment, robbing us of our own purpose and intrinsic motivation. Whether we are the "overachiever" who gets the carrots ...

Read More »