Wes Bertrand and I continue our series based on Nathaniel Branden's book, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Today's show includes a discussion based on the fourth pillar, the Practice of Self-Assertiveness.
LIVING CONSCIOUSLY and asking in every applicable situation:
Am I being authentic or not?
Assertion of consciousness, see, think, be aware, outward and inward
-think for oneself
SELF-ASSERTIVENESS isn't tested by what we are against, but by what we are for
COMMITMENT: to my right to exist
CONVICTION: my ideas and wants are important
CONCLUSION: no one is coming, we are all responsible for our own existences
all relate to COURAGE:
When we were young: we were taught that what we think and want are not important and we're often left with an underdeveloped sense of identity
and unnecessary "what if" worries...
-if I express myself
-if I love and affirm myself
-if I am too happy with myself
-if I stand out
-how to balance this with most people's lack of appropriate self-assertiveness
-living as spectators instead of actors or participants
standing and moving "as if they have no right to the space they occupy"
WHAT DOES SELF-ASSERTIVENESS look like?
-strive for mastery in self and what we pursue
-expand the boundaries of our ability to cope
-learn, challenge, venture into unfamilair spaces
-persevering through challenges
-be in an intimate relationship without abandoning our sense of self
-kind without self sacrifice
-cooperation without betraying standards and convictions
-how many great minds and great ideas were suppressed throughout history?
simply because they had nowhere to go
ALL derived from: auctor "master, leader, author"
Who is the author of your story?
THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM
1. The Practice of Living Consciously
2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
6. The Practice of Personal Integrity
Questions to answer in this series:
what is self-esteem?
why is it important?
what can we do to raise self-esteem?
what role do others play in our self-esteem?
The steps we'll try to follow for each pillar:
-identify and define
-what are the obstacles
-personal stories, struggles
-how to overcome them
"Punchup At A Wedding" Radiohead
"Hold Your Head Up" Argent
Complete Liberty Podcast
An Introduction to Nonviolent Communication
Happiness Counseling Resource Page
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (pdf)
I like the summary: “Say Yes when you mean Yes and say No when you mean No.”
It reminds me of one of the harsher lessons I was taught growing up: “Say what you mean and Mean what you say.”