044: The True Self Vs. the Fantasy Family


(Kids Are Not Defective Part 2)

After reflecting on the last show, I wanted to explore my family comments a bit more thoroughly. Why do adults jump so quickly to the defense of the authority figures in their lives? Why are so many people resistant to the idea that their childhoods were not exactly great? When and how will the effects of childhood mistreatment reveal themselves? Because they always do.

To answer these questions, I briefly channel a "composite character" assembled from many of my past discussions about raising children.

Bumper Music:
"Hometown Glory" by Adele

Look Closer:

Freedomain Radio 211: Childhood Prisons

Complete Liberty Episode 31 - Authoritarianism and family, getting personal with ethics, battles of the wills vs authenticity and self-esteem



Tragedy and Hope Communications/Richard Grove


Paul Verge/Divergent Films

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One comment

  1. LOL, hilarious, “that how we treated children and is was fucking perfect…”

    The treatment of children starts with the assumption that children are inferior to adults. Brett you make a great point as to why parents don’t treat their children with respect and dignity which then makes them question their own upbringing. This is the exact reason why people continue to propagate violence onto their own children, admitting to the fear that their own childhood was not perfect. I believe part of the issue here is the lack of understanding of conception and how children are born.

    Now I know you are an atheist and that you won’t agree with me that there is an element of existence that lives outside the material physical realm, there is no way for me to prove that this “life” exists outside of the material realm but what I wanted to point out is that if the assumption is that nothing else exists outside of this physical real then you have to assume that children are born purely out of the a biological function and by chance, that the child never had a choice in the matter, therefore there is no responsibility that falls onto the child to accept the current conditions of life. There is no way that the child is responsible for living their lives, they have no reason to not commit suicide as they never took up the responsibility of choosing the life they live.

    What if people had a choice in being born? I bring this up because it’s a possibility that this could be the case, is there a way to disprove this possibility? If you Brett did by chance choose to live the live, choose to be born into the family that you were, the entire argument changes. It makes more sense and logic to me if I actually did choose this live to live and that I choose to be born into the family that I have been than say I didn’t. There is not a person I know who does not reply that they wish their parents would listen to them, when asked ‘Do you wish your parents would listen to you?’, everyone feels that they could help their parents in choosing to make better decisions if their parents just listen to them.

    Why is this the case? Sure maybe some people will say otherwise but I have not meet them yet. There is not a person I have heard say that they could not help their parents improve their lives because their parents have is “all” figured out. I would probably start to think that this person does not know their parents very well and that their parents have found a way to hide their true identity to their children. If we are born with the choice then why would we choose to be born to parents that are so unable to be parents, as you say ‘we all have bad childhoods’, now your perspective makes sense in the case, that we are born just out of chance and biological function but why is it that this is always the case, would there not be some cases where the child has a prefect childhood? I think you would struggle to find this as the reason we “choose” our parents is because they are not perfect and that as being the children we can make a difference in their lives to stop the cycle of violence.

    What better why for a person to make a difference to the lives of others than to become their children. Even in the current state of childcare we I can find parents who change in their character just by being parents for the better, in this process itself parenting develops character that forces use as people to question ourselves, even when we desire not to do so.

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