Wes Bertrand and I continue our series based on Nathaniel Branden's book, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Today's show includes a discussion based on the sixth pillar, the Practice of Living With Integrity.
Do your ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs and behavior line up?
Do most people know what their ideals, convictions, standards and beliefs are?
The root of self-esteem is not in accomplishment or output, but in our practices. However in school, we are only our output.
WORDS AND BEHAVIORS MATCH
“Integrity is the integration of ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs—and behavior. When our behavior is congruent with our professed values, when ideals and practice match, we have integrity. If they don't, we lose face in out own eyes."
SUPERIORS AND AUTHORITY FIGURES
untrustworthy because of incongruence
Being an adult with an inconsistent boss was stressful enough
"ONLY I WILL KNOW..."
-dispel the idea that only the judgment of others counts
-TRUTH: only mine counts when it comes to self-esteem
LIVING WITH GUILT
(original sin is anti-self esteem)
1. face and accept full reality, without disowning or avoidance
2. seek to understand why we did what we did
3. acknowledge to others the harm we've done, convey understanding of consequences
4. take restorative action
5. firmly commit to behaving differently in the future
SELF ESTEEM isn't taught but IRRATIONAL STANDARDS ARE
-religious teachings that damn pleasure, state, culture, society
courage to challenge deepest assumptions of "good"
-teaming living consciously with need for integrity to examine values we were taught
-Practice of Integrity has inconsistencies in our lives
explore this! why?
-challenge: high personal standards while feeling like we're living in a moral sewer, the feeling of a lonely and heroic undertaking
PRINCIPLE OF RECIPROCAL CAUSATION
behaviors that generate SE are also expressions of SE
practice of pillars genesprates a need for them, not work anymore (exercise or nutrition)
THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM
1. The Practice of Living Consciously
2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
6. The Practice of Personal Integrity
Questions to answer in this series:
what is self-esteem?
why is it important?
what can we do to raise self-esteem?
what role do others play in our self-esteem?
The steps we'll try to follow for each pillar:
-identify and define
-what are the obstacles
-personal stories, struggles
-how to overcome them
The Who - "Who Are You"
Donnie Iris - "Ahh Leah"
Free - "All Right Now"
Complete Liberty Podcast
An Introduction to Nonviolent Communication
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (pdf)