Podcast #268: The Practice of Self-Assertiveness (The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem Part 4)

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Wes Bertrand and I continue our series based on Nathaniel Branden's book, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Today's show includes a discussion based on the fourth pillar, the Practice of Self-Assertiveness.

LIVING CONSCIOUSLY and asking in every applicable situation:
Am I being authentic or not?

Assertion of consciousness, see, think, be aware, outward and inward
-ask questions
-challenge authority
-think for oneself

SELF-ASSERTIVENESS isn't tested by what we are against, but by what we are for

COMMITMENT: to my right to exist
CONVICTION: my ideas and wants are important
CONCLUSION: no one is coming, we are all responsible for our own existences
all relate to COURAGE:

When we were young: we were taught that what we think and want are not important and we're often left with an underdeveloped sense of identity
and unnecessary "what if" worries...
-if I express myself
-if I love and affirm myself
-if I am too happy with myself
-if I stand out

-how to balance this with most people's lack of appropriate self-assertiveness

-living as spectators instead of actors or participants
standing and moving "as if they have no right to the space they occupy"

WHAT DOES SELF-ASSERTIVENESS look like?
-confront challenges
-strive for mastery in self and what we pursue
-expand the boundaries of our ability to cope
-learn, challenge, venture into unfamilair spaces
-persevering through challenges
-be in an intimate relationship without abandoning our sense of self
-kind without self sacrifice
-cooperation without betraying standards and convictions

-how many great minds and great ideas were suppressed throughout history?
simply because they had nowhere to go

-authenticity
-author
-authority

ALL derived from: auctor "master, leader, author"
Who is the author of your story?

THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM
1. The Practice of Living Consciously
2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
6. The Practice of Personal Integrity

Questions to answer in this series:
what is self-esteem?
why is it important?
what can we do to raise self-esteem?
what role do others play in our self-esteem?

The steps we'll try to follow for each pillar:
-identify and define
-what are the obstacles
-personal stories, struggles
-how to overcome them

Bumper Music:
"Punchup At A Wedding" Radiohead
"Hold Your Head Up" Argent

Look Closer:
Complete Liberty Podcast

Home

NathanielBranden.com
http://www.nathanielbranden.com/

An Introduction to Nonviolent Communication
http://happinesscounseling.com/NVC_Intro.pdf

Happiness Counseling Resource Page

Resources

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (pdf)
http://experiencelife.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/70-the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem.pdf

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One comment

  1. Profile photo of Nicholas Ulbrick

    I like the summary: “Say Yes when you mean Yes and say No when you mean No.”
    It reminds me of one of the harsher lessons I was taught growing up: “Say what you mean and Mean what you say.”

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